Mommy drinks because she has kids.

Went to the LCBO with my two kids today, because I’m classy. The judging looks were priceless. HAHAHAOKAY. Have I mentioned that when I’m uncomfortable or upset…I make jokes to mask my true feelings?

Here’s the full story. My husband is out tonight. After I put the kids to bed, I was hoping to enjoy a cold beer and get some writing done. Looked in the fridge. Oh, no beer. Hmmm. Well, I guess I’ll have to go buy some. Now, since I’m a stay at home mom I didn’t have the option of “picking some up on the way home”. And since my husband wasn’t going to be coming back to the house before going out, I couldn’t just ask him as I usually would. It appeared my only option was no beer or tote the kiddos down with me. I didn’t think twice. I wanted to have a beer while I relaxed. I’m twenty-freaking-five years old. So I packed up my munchkins and I headed on down.

The second I walked in those sliding glass doors, and I mean THE SECOND, I instantly regretted my choice. Even though everyone there was also purchasing alcoholic beverages, I was instantly the target of so many disapproving glances it looked like a gawdamn lemon tasting party. I grabbed two tall cans, and my daughter who loves to help insisted on carrying them. Yeah, thanks, kid. Totally helping with the judge-party. These patrons definitely think I’m buying beers for a 4yr old or that I’m an alcoholic about to slam back some tallboys and abandon my children. The cashier (who I’m familiar with – okay, this is not helping the alcoholic theory – shit) made some jokes about asking my daughter for her ID, I gave an incredibly witty response regarding life in the 1950s. And then I got the hell out of there before the woman behind me needed facial reconstruction surgery due to all of her grimacing.

If that had been my husband in there solo with the midget spawns, I bet he could have gotten free samples and high fives and maybe a phone number or two. There are so many double standards applied to mothers and fathers and this one is some kind of bullhonky. I am a better mom because I have a beer, because I relax, because I still do the things that I’ve always enjoyed that keep me sane. Without these moments of selfish (responsible) bliss, I would be selling my children for a one-way plane ticket to an abandoned tropical island.

The next time you see a frazzled looking mother darting down the aisles of your local liquor store, don’t jump to conclusions or give her the “YOU’RE A BAD MOTHER” sneer. She’s a human being, not a super hero or Jesus. Although if she were, she could just turn water to wine and life would be fantastic.

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4 Responses to Mommy drinks because she has kids.

  1. Marissa says:

    Oh yes, I know the feeling! I had to buy a few bottles of wine (for gifts I swear) with my daughter and a very pregnant belly. I also look like a 16 year old…fun times! Enjoy the beer!

  2. Kira =] says:

    The people judging must not have or remember what it’s like to be with little children all day. Otherwise, they’re lying to themselves. If I see a frazzled Mom I give her the “I’ve been in your shoes” expression. Love the last line!

  3. Patricia Orton says:

    I have 3 boys and can tell you now that my only hope for sanity comes in liquid form, after they go to bed.
    My oldest once set me up for a good one, which made it his last trip with me to the LCBO!
    He pointed out that I get 25 bonus Airmiles with the purchase of my favorite wine. He then proceeded to show off his great freakin’ math skills and calculated that I could earn like 100 points in one week!
    Lovely!!!

  4. sewformylove says:

    i experienced this today when i took my 6 month old with me to pick up some beer for papa bear at the nslc. i also got a singular 4.2% “mom beer” for myself and i find it ridiculous how quick people are to pass judgement. i also love how sometimes because of my tattoos and piercings that i’ve kidnapped nora or that i’m “the babysitter”. i guess their mamas’ never taught them to mind their p’s and q’s (they were probably consuming alcohol or something equally if not more irresponsible instead *note internet sarcasm*)

    my daughter is asleep for the night, i’m going to sit and enjoy this beer sans judgement. screw ’em!

    cheers *clink*

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